Monday, December 17, 2018

Just Why Am I

Why am I depressed? What's there to be depressed about? A lot of people have it worse. I'm a shitty person.

Friday, December 07, 2018

Just My Comfort Song

Remembering Sunday by All Time Low has now become my comfort song. The melody soothes my insides when I'm feeling shitty. It's more of the melody than the lyrics, but here are the lyrics:

He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Started making his way past 2 in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs
Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me
Even though she doesn't believe in love,
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me
The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be
I'm not coming back (forgive me)
I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling)
But you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm)
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world,
From so many thousands of feet off the ground, I'm over you now
I'm at home in the clouds, and towering over your head
Well I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home

Saturday, December 01, 2018

Just Typed This on Notepad and Not Correcting the Errors

Some things in life are like lemons.
They don't make sense.
Why lemons?
I just thought of  a random word. Lemons actually make some sense.
I don't know, man. I just...

Okay, so here's the thing...
I want to end it all. I've been thinking this for a long time.
And I don't know why i just wouldn't and couldn't do it.
I have been there to the point where I actually tried but not succeeded.
What am I doing...

I can't do shit. I do every shit but they mean nothing.
Why can't i find meaning in life
Why am I asking these kind of questions anyway
They're just going to make me feel down.

I'm writing this while there are people around me who i can talk to about this.
Still I choose to write it here, alone, in my thoughts. I don't think they could relate anyway.
Thoughts are very dangerous entities. Thoughts start every disaster that happens.
How do I make them stop? I can't. I wouldn't be human if I didn't have any thoughts.


Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Just Nothing Going On

I have nothing going on right now. I'm bored at work. I'm sleepy. I'm writing this blog while at work. I'll get in trouble if someone finds out.