Friday, August 21, 2015

Just my "Trademark"

I made this symbol out of the thought "What if I made a logo just so if I sold something like "art" in the future, I have a logo for it?".

So it's actually the initials of my real first name, JC. I liked my initials, because being religious, I liked how it had the same initials with Jesus Christ.

It's like a palindrome, or a mirror-image with each other. It also looks like an arrow pointing up. We always aim upwards in our lives, not down. But it is somehow hypocritical of me with me being "crazy", because I sometimes look for ways to be sad on purpose.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Just Something I didn't Want to Happen

All I wanted was a bromance. I'm not a lesbian or anything. I'm a perfectly straight girl with a boyish attribute. I wanted an unrealistic life like in How I Met Your Mother. I liked how Ted and Tracy were meant for each other; How it was such a coincidence that they had the same initials; How they are oth nerds; How they had the same tastes. I also liked Robin's nature.

I am indifferent, but I am also empathetic.

What I mean is, in my own personal life, I am indifferent. But, I empathize with other people's lives. It's like, I care more for others other than myself. I don't care what happens to me, really. Because everything goes smoothly for me. Don't get the wrong idea, I get my downs all the time. It's just like, when I am in a tight situation, I just think that the tight situation I'm in will be over for a certain amount of time. I will think that when I am done dealing with a difficult thing, I will just think of the future me thinking why did I worry in the first place. Sorry for the redundancy of my words. Heck, I can type however I want here. It's my blog. It's personal and I don't want you to understand me anyway. Whut?

Okay. So. Yeah.
"Please don't fall inlove with me, because that would only make me hate you."
 -Lana Slaybell

I know it's kind of harsh. That's how heartless I am. Yup. So... it's my own version of the Ted Mosby Effect. Google it if you don't know what that is.
I don't really want a relationship right now. For me, what I think of people who have boyfriends or girlfriends have lower IQs  than those who don't, and those who don't have relationships have lower EQs. Err... I think my remarks are kind of offensive. No offense meant but I think there is something wrong with me. But what I know is that a smart person knows how to control his or her feelings. A brain is smarter than a heart. It is the brain who does the thinking, the one who produces the hormones, and the one who controls everything, including the heart. The feeling you get is actually from the brain, not from the heart. Yeah, you might know that already, don't you?

My point is, I use my brain more. I cut off the emotion hormone-producing gland. And by emotion, I meant love. Only the type of love that is a boyfriend-girlfriend love. I am still able to love like a friend love and a family love. I might turn the gland on again if I want to. So, I am not really heartless, I am just gland-less. Whut?

Okay, continuing on. I don't know if "continuing on" is correct. I don't want to dwell on it so Imma use it there. Okay. The event that I didn't want to happen. I'll just tell little details. Hahaha. Jk, I'm not gonna share it. I'm lazy. I don't want to think of the grammar or the construction of the sentence so Imma stop here because I like to leave people hanging. Well that sentence was long. Haha. If I were the reader of this post, I will be annoyed by the writer. But I am the writer here because I am a little annoying banana. Why am I calling myself a banana. Stupid friend. Haha. Nevermind me, I am now just talking to myself here. My post has already ended.

Just Another One of Those Blank Moments

When I thought of death, an unborn child was found. Why must Someone send me such messages?

I'm getting out of my mind. What I'm doing right now isn't good for me.

I need a permanent cure.

I'm starting to doubt reality.


I shouldn't think too much.

I shouldn't think of things in such ways.


If I talk to a guy about my problems, he would eventually fall in love with me. I don't like that. If I talk to a girl, well, she will probably give me advice that I already know.

I can not stop these thoughts. They run through  my head, yet they do not make sense with each other.

Hah. When I'm with other people I stop thinking these things.


I'm a banana.

Hmmm... Am I really psychotic?

Maybe I just need some attention.

Give me attention~ I need it now~ Too much distance~ To measure it out, out now~

Glob it. You can stop reading now. Hahaha. I just needed something to post here. Welp, bye.

Lol, joke, still here.

Damn, why am I like this.

Ok. Post ends here now, literally.