Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Just a Second Letter to Myself

Dear Young me,

     Don't worry, you're making progress in your life by working out. You still haven't gone to school yet. It's been 6 months since you've been there. You visited sometimes to see your friends and your crushes. Haha. Yes, you now have crushes. It's been awhile since you had one. You promised yourself in first grade that you will never have a crush on someone again because of that stupid guy Romel telling your crush back then that you had a crush on him. LOL. You were so young and innocent and naive.

     You are really different now than back then. You really never thought that you would stop school, did you? Well, guess what, you did. You also never thought that you would become suicidal too, right? Guess again, you are now, too. You took some meds and now you are fat because of them. You stopped school twice, and got fat twice. Lesson learned, if you stop school, you'll get fat.

     Sorry if I couldn't give you a degree, if you wanted a degree. I think you never really thought about it. You didn't think about the future. You didn't really care. Now look what you've done. Haha. No hard feelings, though.

     You now use swear words, too. It's all because of that site, 9gag. You curse moderately though. So much for being a goody two-shoes.

     I've gotta tell you something, and you're not gonna like it. I want to end it all soon, like, dying. I don't like living. I know there are more things to see in life, but I've had it. I've seen enough. You didn't have a dream anyway, so there's not much to lose. But you did made a bucket list, and I don't care about one thing in that list. I'm not gonna say sorry for it, 'cause I'm you anyway, only older.

     Now you're 18. You're legal. You're older. You didn't want to move on from age 14. You liked the number 14 for an age. You liked being a teen. You didn't like to be 15 or 16. You wanted to be 14. When you became 17, you wanted to stay 17, because you liked the number 17 too. But now you're neither 14 nor 17. You are now 18. Two years from now you will be 20 and you will no longer be a teen. You will be an adult. You will not be considered as a "youth" anymore, even though you're still young, and I'm not planning to reach that age. I guess 18 years is enough. I want it all to end at 18. I don't want to get any older.

     I guess I will leave it all to fate. I will wait 'til Death comes and visit me. Save me the lecture. I've heard enough.

Love lots,

The 18-yr Old You


  1. I am 19 and am waiting for it to end just as badly as you are. I liked 14 and 17 too. 18 wasn't bad either.But 19. 19 is weird. A strange intermediary. You're there, but not quite.

    1. I like odd numbers. I like the number 19. I'm going to be 19 this year, but I don't wanna. 19 is a good age for me to die.