Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Just my Night Log in the DMMAxim Office-04/19/19

(I have to cut out my rant because I had to post it in

Time check: 2:05 am-04/19/2016.

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I type my thoughts out. It is the only voice I have. It is loud enough for those who listen. It is enough for those who want to hear. Nobody listens to a boring speech made by a Nobody.  But most want to read an explosive rant of a hopeless poet. With writing, I am able to express the words I am not able to say. When I try to talk, the words jumble up and get tangled up in my tongue, and I am not able to relay the message I want to give. Writing gives me time to think. Talking demands you for the answers right on the spot. I can’t keep up with such pressure. I also like the silence in writing. The noise speaking makes gives me a headache. For I like to keep things in my mind. For I don’t want to be heard. For if I try to speak, nobody listens. For when I speak up, I get ignored. I am forced to train myself to place my thoughts on a piece of paper, even forced to study braille for the blind just to make people read them, not listen to them, because people can’t hear in a noisy room, but can read in one. Sure, they can’t read in the dark room, but that dark room is just as noisy. I can handle the deafening silence. I’d rather be deaf than not be able to write.


I am already feeling a bit drowsy. If I lie down, I still can’t travel to dreamland. I’d rather stay awake and type this rant. I already made 1317 words. It sure distracted me from thinking about the bad stuff. I shouldn’t have drank tea. It made my mind so active, and these thoughts keep pushing through. To those who are reading, this is what I think of when I cannot sleep. You have just witnessed a piece of my mind,the words that keep me up at night. People really do get more poetic when it is really late, and most of the stuff they come up with either make no sense, or have deep meaning to it. I close my eyes as I fight my urge to sleep. Should I buy coffee from the vending machine? Nah, I don’t want to get any more psychotic and get rushed to the psychiatrist to take those fattening pills again.

Sight is getting blurry, or the font is just too small. I’m too lazy to adjust them. Eyes are getting heavier. Still fighting the urge. I want to make a good conclusion to this rant. Head is starting to ache a little. I think the more I do this, the more years I take from my life. But eh, I want to die early anyway. I keep saying this, but it keeps on getting jinxed. Guess the world wants me to suffer longer. The brightness on the computer screen is hurting my eyes too. I’ve always liked people wearing glasses. I’d like to wear one, but I don’t want to have damaged eyes at the same time. I am a paradox. I like words with the letter “x”. I am sitting in front of a bright-lit monitor in a room with the lights out while my companions are asleep. Hmmm… I don’t know how I feel about that.

I don’t know who will really read this far in my rant. Already 1620 words and I am not stopping there. Feel free to stop reading anytime and I commend you for being able to get this far. I salute you.
I am feeling a little nauseous now. I guess I should try and lie down and drown myself with my thoughts again. But that won’t be any fun. I would get to keep them to myself and you know what they say, “Sharing is caring!” Man, I am really tired. Haha.

So what should I do now? Make some poems? I’m not in the mood. I might write a poem about how I am really pissed off at a particular person. Here it goes.

You with the glasses
You with the white hair
You with the silly hairstyle
You with the big belly
You with the arrogant personality
You with a potty mouth
You who makes life a living hell
You who wants to be hated
You who makes my blood boil
You who I want to set on fire
You who I want to drown in the tears of my enemies
You who really makes me say “fuck you”
I really, really hate you

Well, at least I tried. I really am using curse words often these past years. I’d never thought I would do it when I would grow up. I was so young and na├»ve. Saying curse words is fun and it helps ease the pain. But it really is offensive. The F-word really offends me back in the days, but now, not so much. I don’t know what happened. 9gag, I guess. LOL. 

I rested my head for a while and tried to sleep, but no, the words in my head won’t go away. Oh well, what to do, what to do? Maybe pull a prank on these innocent sleeping bodies? Wahaha. There are four of them and I really want some fun in 3 in the morning. Hmmm… but what prank should I do? LOL. Thinking about this is making me laugh. Well, not really laugh but just blow a little air from my nostrils. Aha! I should write and draw on their faces! That would be really epic and funny. HAHAHAHA. But how do I do that without waking them up? I haven’t really tried it yet but I want to. LOL. I’m having evil thoughts at this time of the day. HAHAHAHA. I feel so stupid for laughing all by myself here. Huhu. I should wait until 4 am to make sure that they are all sleeping deeply. I don’t know if I would still be awake by then.


I feel shitty. Time is really passing by fast.


I rested my head a little and I thought of Jiggly Puff. Weird. I remember Jiggly Puff writing on people’s faces who fall asleep to her singing. XD I wish I can do that successfully later.


Lack of sleep makes me think. I am getting really weird. My thoughts are getting weird.


Awww man. My memories of DMMAxim are coming back to me. I will surely miss them if we get discontinued. Also, I am getting “panuhot” from the air-con. BRB, got to go the bathroom. Wait, I change my mind.


Wala jud koy trip. HAHAHAHA


As I lied down, I keep thinking of my next log entry. And this is it. Damn this caffeine intake. I’m not going back to Top Tea to order Green Matcha any time soon.


Hearing the voices in my head saying “YOU CAN’T SLEEP AND YOU WILL NOT SLEEP! MWAHAHAHAHA!” hahaha. Damn.


Remember when I said when people get more poetic when it is very late and the things they come up with either make no sense or have deep meaning? Well, I am the former one.


Time to commence operation write on sleeping people’s faces! MWAHAHAHA. I’ll use lipstick so it will be easy to remove.


Before I commenced the operation I went outside to pee and as I was heading back I saw all these beautiful stars and constellations. Ok time to proceed with the operation.


First victim: Carmela=success! I tried not to laugh while doing it. WAHAHAHA! Had to walk with bare feet to not make so much noise


I’m deciding who my next victim will be. I’m not sure if Laica’s asleep. I want to try Lonard but I’m afraid if he’s a light sleeper. It’s the risk I am taking. HAHAHA >:)


Hands are shaking. Pulse beating fast. Don’t know why. Someone please send help.


I attempted to draw dots on Lonard ‘s face and he really is a light sleeper. He moved his hand to his face. Glad I wasn’t caught in the act. I have ninja skillz >:)


I wrote “JC was here” on Laica’s foot with my eyeliner. I softly touched her foot with my finger and she felt it. I don’t know if I’m caught.


I want to try Harold next but I don’t think he’s asleep yet. Hmmm… we’ll see.


Harold isn’t fully asleep. He twitches his face every time my eyeliner touches it. Haha. I managed to get a few lines on him. MWAHAHA. Ok. Lonard stood up and lied down again. I don’t know why. But anyways, mission complete! Mwahaha!


Now I feel nothing. When will the sun rise up again so they can see what I did to them? I want to go home already. My drowsiness went away.

Harold got up and transferred to where I tried sleeping earlier. It’s been awhile since I had insomnia. It’s the first time I’ve enjoyed it too. Never had this fun at 4 am since forever. Sleep is for the weak. If you can’t sleep when you have already tried hours to do so, then don’t try sleeping at all. When the sun is already up by 5 am, I am already going and leaving them behind. I won’t bother waking them. But I would miss their reactions though. What should I do???


It’s 4 am and I’m waking up to your perfume~
It’s 4 am and I’m still wide awake. #teamnosleep

Don’t worry little angels, I will guard you while you sleep. Welp, the only thing you should be guarded from is me! HAHA!

I’m making most of my moments while DMMAxim still exists. Don’t judge me for this.
My mom must be really worried because I didn’t come home tonight. I am preparing myself for the coming morning sermon.

I wonder if anyone will read my rant and log and laugh about it. Please don’t.


Ahhh… I will sure remember this moment. Being wide awake and poetic in the kadlawon while everyone is asleep. Well, not really asleep because of the noise the keyboard makes while typing this. I will remember this moment pranking you guys and I hope you won’t forget me :”>


Well this is fun. I should make these kind of stuff often.
Dugayasamusikatsaadlawuyyy. Akopuddugaypudkomusikat and I’m not dreaming of it.
How could I dream when I ain’t sleeping?


Tic, tock, tic, tock, goes the clock.


Thanks for loving me guys even though I’m weird.

These thoughts of mine I can’t stop typing them. Seems like every word that comes to mind I type them.



Lonard’s phone sounded.

Take me back to the person I used to be~ when you were there for me~
^that wasn’t the sound though.

Man, mom’s really gonna be pissed. “But I’m pissed too, mahw.”

Oogly bear. Googly bear.


Drowsiness came back. Still ain’t sleeping.


I think I’m going to watch the sun rise, observe how the sky changes color when the dawn breaks.
I’m really disturbing Harold and Lonard with my noisy typing.


Lonard’s phone sounded again.


Eyes getting heavy again.


Rereading what I have just typed.


Lonard’s alarm went off for the nth time. He went out a while ago.


I watched the sun rise. It was very beautiful. Now I see a pink blotch right in front of my eyes. TIP: wear shades when watching the sunrise. Read my description about it here.


I’m going home.

Log out.

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