Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Just Missing You

Now that you have already graduated, I will not be able to see you in school that often anymore. You will have your training for your career. You will face many more hardships in the real world. You already went ahead of us. You already left us here, leaving your legacy with us.

The last time we met, I hugged you. You were wearing your white t-shirt and your smile was heart-warming. I also got to dream of you yesterday. You were wearing the same shirt, and I get to hug you again. Sad to say, it was only just a dream.

I just learned that you had a crush on me before. Sir Lonard told me that. He told me that you really wanted me to be part of the DMMAxim. I purposely made my article in the technical exam to be shitty because I didn't want to be accepted anymore. But you tried to defend me. Huh. I don't know why you liked me. I was weird. The picture I submitted for my application was weird. It was like I was ready to be buried for my funeral. LOL. I still had my full bangs that time and I looked funny. I was having a dilemma whether I should be a writer or a cartoonist, and you convinced me to be a writer. My technical exam really disappointed you, huh? *Chuckles* You told me it did. I was born to disappoint people. I guess my mission was accomplished. XD

He also said we were MU (Mutual Understanding). Your other friend told my friend and my friend told me before that you were interested in me. When I heard that, it got me to be interested in you, too. We talked, and you learned a lot of things about me. I told you things about my family. We also had a lot of things in common. We had the same taste in music. I never thought I'd find someone with the same taste in music as me anymore. The fact that we both have a guitar, violin, keyboard, and flute at home caused a stir inside me. No instruments more, no instruments less. I was voted as the secretary for my batch. Little did I know that you are the secretary for the publication, too. Before, I always carried candy with me. These candies had little messages on the wrapper which say stuff like "I love you" or "I miss you". Once, you and Sir Louie asked me for some. I had two in my pocket. I wondered which one I should give you. I thought bah, I'll just give you a random candy without reading the message. When you received it, you said that there is always one phrase that can make you cry, and that was "I'm proud of you". Little did I know, those were the words on the candy wrapper. I felt a little proud of myself in the inside, too. When Sir Lonard asked you, or us, for a number, we both answered "7" at the same time. I tried to hide my "kilig" by not smiling and keeping a poker face. He said that because of that, maybe we really are soulmates. I thought that, too, that maybe we are soulmates. We even have the same design for our backpacks! When I saw yours, I mistook it for mine. How many coincidence between us could there be? I thought we really were destined for each other.

You were my first crush in the DMMAxim. I was the first guilder you talked to. Lonard said that you really had a crush on me but you couldn't tell me that because it wasn't allowed. Romantic relationships between seniors and guilders weren't allowed. Maybe it was for the best. I promised myself back in first grade that I will never have a crush on anyone ever again. And you made me break that promise. Oh why, just why?

The other guilders told me that you and I were their bet, and that they ship us both. I really didn't think about it before. I didn't have a crush on you before. When they told me that, I was like "Whuuuut???" Laica said that every time I saw you, she observed that my eyes would turn into hearts. I was like no, I don't think of you that way. I really didn't. I guess Time worked its magic and eventually developed my feelings.

When the other seniors told me you had a girlfriend, I didn't really care. She was pretty in the picture. I still didn't have feelings for you that time. During the night of the presswork, we were at the mall with other DMMAxim peeps to buy stuff for the presswork. We were in different groups, scattered in the mall. Sir Earlvin was with Sir Kenneth. I was with Sir Lonard and Harold. And you, with your girl. When we all met, your arm was around the girl's shoulder. When you saw us, you quickly removed it from her. I pretended not to care. But it kind of put me down a little. I don't know why. I guess I got a little jealous. She really was pretty.

I wasn't able to enroll for the second semester. So I wasn't able to go to school. I didn't get to bond with the DMMAxim for long, considering that we are already getting disbanded now, and that it's your last year in college. When I came to visit, I saw all of you. I missed you all. I got to see you, too. And we got to talk. You asked me about my love life. You asked about Braggy. I didn't know how you knew about him. I think I might have mentioned him to you before. I don't really remember. I showed you a picture of him and I said "there was never an us" (Braggy and I). So I asked you the same. I asked you how was your love life. You said that she got jealous because you spent more time with your cousin than with her and you somehow drifted away. Because I showed you a picture of Braggy, you showed me a picture of her. It was the girl from before. I told you I remember her and asked how were things with her. You said "there was never an us, too." And with that, my spirits lifted up a little.

I miss you...

I texted you earlier because I missed you. You replied three hours and a half later. I thought you would never reply. I'm glad you did. We exchanged texts for awhile then you said you would be visiting school in 7 days to process some papers and you would be on your way to your training after that. You must be really busy. Life after graduation must be tiring. Except for my second brother because he really isn't busy after graduating.

I hope you can really come. I really miss you, your face, your voice, your humor, your talents and your wit. I wish I could see you now...

17 comments:

  1. It's really sad how sometimes we don't realize how we become different people after a long time. We can miss our old selves but it doesn't necessarily mean we're ashamed of who we've become :O

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  2. If this is based on a true story, I totally feel your sincerity, love and longing for this person. You've written this piece pregnant with emotion, born out of the "hearts in your eyes" (as you put it so well).

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  3. What if he stumbled upon this letter? I think it will make him smile and his heart flutter also.

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  4. Well.. guess this is the feelings when you really miss somebody... Hope you get to see the one you miss real soon..

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  5. If a person misses you too he/she will immediateky reply back and show interest on seeing you soon. Your letter is full of emotions and Ive been there. But i became a strong woman now and I dont give shits if a person doesnt like me or doesnt misses me Ill let go.

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  6. I hope he reads this. Its so hard when 2 people really like each other but just don't communicate their feelings. I really really hope he reads this...

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  7. I wish you guys would eventually be together, you guys have way too many similarities and coincidences. I hope he comes!

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  8. Unspoken feelings towards a person can never be more frustrating. If this is true, my advice would be to go for it. Just tell him what you feel at least you won't feel like you didn't do anything in the end.

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  9. Letter with a heart and soul...waiting to be read! Just an outlet of your inner thoughts and feelings that seems to be discovered by the recipient. Good luck and carry-on the endeavor of your life.

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  10. I guess after graduation priorities change. Of course, you can always keep each other and you'll be surprised hat there is more to share now.

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  11. It is hard to play with feelings. I hope he reads this. After graduating from colleges, our desires and wants change.

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  12. Is that real? I can't help but feel that your header "Just a Nobody with a Problem that you don't need to know of"... very depressing and your article made it more emo! :(

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  13. This happens sometimes when we miss someone but some how not able to tell him or her how we feel. It on one side. Hopefully the other party will sense it and feel the same too.

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  14. I sincerely wish that this incomplete love story has a sequel where all dreams come true! If you are determined...am sure it will happen!

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  15. Sigh...young love. I remember how it was just like it was yesterday. The memories linger, some feelings change, but the lessons are taken in forever.

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  16. I agree with Lee Rosales. But I feel you girl, but sometimes we need to grow up and be strong - stand up and learn to let go that feelings.

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  17. The beautiful and chaotic mess that is young love! Sometimes it really is heartbreaking to miss everything about someone and to not see them for days on end. I sure hope he visits your school so you can catch up with him again!

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