Saturday, July 30, 2016

Just My New Avatar 2

The drawing got delayed because my dad took the laptop to Samar for his seminar. I just finished the drawing now. I know, it's ugly. This is my new avatar now. The roots are longer than now. But it's gonna grow anyway. Better have advance thinking.

Previous Avatar
Current Avatar

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Just a Sh*tty Painting

Oh honey, if only you didn't get the hopes of thousands of fans and letting them down, I would have made this look better. Now they won't recognize you with only just a glance.

Just My Page

I really have a lot of thoughts especially when it's late at night. But I can't always blog them from time to time. So, I made a page in Facebook dedicated for all my late night thoughts from 11 pm to 4 am. When I have a thought, I instantly post it on that page. There are currently 4 other editors for that page. But I am the only one who really posts there. I don't know why they aren't updating the page. Maybe I should fire them.

So, if you want to be updated  with my thoughts, you can like my page if you have a Facebook account. It's called Late Night Thoughts (click the link to visit or like the page). You can also contribute to the page. Just visit the page to know how.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Just a New Avatar

I haven't told you this but I dyed my hair ash grey, but I didn't bleach it so it turned to brown instead.

In line with this, I figured I need a new avatar because of my new look, and my roots are already growing and showing. I started this WIP using PaintTool SAI last week and I'm a bit lazy to finish it. I used a mirror as a guide. Haha. I almost dyed my hair back to black though, when MCR gave me false hope about a reunion happening.

Maybe I'll finish this last week. I have a contest to attend to tomorrow. Titus iDoodle competition. I only joined for the freebies like the T-shirt, lanyard, and colored Titus pens, just like last year. Also, to add to my extra-curricular activities. I have to skip Menu Planning laboratory for it. They're gonna cook cookies this time. Dammit.


On a side note, I just finished This is Where the World Ends by Amy Zhang. I loved this book so much. I love Micah Carter. He's the type that I was looking for. I posted a status saying "I fell in love with a character that doesn't exist. It's so sad that we can never be together." and as of now it has 25 likes and 4 reactions. But what really bothers me is that *SPOILER ALERT* the author kills Janie Vivian. Like WTF?! I wanted the protagonist from Falling into Place (same author) to die but she kills this protagonist instead?! SERIOUSLY? lol. Oh well, there was a good reason for her death anyway. So I forgive Amy Zhang for this. This is now my new favorite book. Again, I love this book. I can't stress that enough. "I love this book" is such an understatement.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Just Remedies and Cures

Remedies are not cure.

For a time, we’ve been trying to ease the pains we’re experiencing. But we don’t find a way to permanently erase our pain. Remedies are not cure. It is temporary. We don’t find a permanent way to erase the pain because we know it can’t be done. It can’t just vanish into thin air with a snap of a finger. Oh, no, we can’t banish pain away from our lives.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Just Ep 7 of Charlie Comics


Our requirement for prelims in English 2 is to make a story board on Oslo paper. I took advantage of the opportunity by continuing Charlie Comics. I don't really have time and I am too lazy to make these anymore. Thank God for this requirement.

Episode 7: Lulu blows up

Charlie: Hey! Lulu!
Lulu: Oh... H-h-hey, Charlie. W-w-what's up?
Charlie: I heard you and Archie broke up. Are you okay?
Lulu: I don't know, Chralie. I don't really want to talk about it.
Lulu: It's just that these days seems tough. I thought dating Archie would help me distract myself from the reality that I'm in.
Lulu: It worked for a while, up until he broke up with me. He said that I couldn't see the things you're doing for me.
Lulu: He said that you were his friend, and that he was YOUR friend. He said that he betrayed you.
Lulu: Don't you get it, Charlie? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Charlie: I'M SORRY LULU!
Lulu: Uhm, maybe I was too strong?

Just When You Wake Up

Everyday you think about the things you need to do. The first thing you do is to wake up. You do this by opening your eyes.

If you’re me, you would wonder why you even woke up in the first place. You begin to think that it’s another day of painful living, that it’s another day of trying to forget that you are miserable, that it’s another day of wishing you haven’t woke up, that it’s another day of wishing you weren’t born.

You begin to think what the reason for all of this is. You wonder why everything happens like how it does. Do we really choose the actions we do? Do we really need to do the things we do?

As you wake up, you rise from the bed, the floor, or whatever you slept in. You fix your bed or you leave it just be. You wipe away the dirt that was in your eyes.

Now what we do from here is different with each other. Some go to the bathroom. Some make breakfast. Some check their social media accounts.

If you were me again, you would think that why different actions have different chain reactions. You begin to realize that everything is connected. Or you would even think so deeply that you realize that nothing is real, that everything is just an illusion.

You shrug these thoughts off, and just continue on with life. You realize that having these thoughts and overthinking will lead you nowhere, or so you thought. Maybe overthinking will lead you to great discoveries. But this time around, overthinking does not get you anywhere.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Just Love and Depression

Just Me Pouring My Bottled-up Feelings Out by Writing This Sh*t Up

I poured my bottled-up feelings out by writing this sh*t up. Content warning: may be full of metaphors.

No matter how much you try to keep your sh*t together, Life will just keep throwing everything at you.

Let's say it's throwing lemons at you. You make lemonade right? Or plant the seeds and pass the lemons it bore to other people. But what if the lemons are too much? What if you already had enough of lemonade? Sure you could always sell lemonade, but it's tiring to make lemonade and lemonade business isn't a great business idea anyway.

Bah. What am I talking about? Did something happen to me you ask? Well, yes. A lot has happened to me. We're still in the upper half of the month and a torrent of catastrophes hit me, flooding everything and drowning me in the process. I didn't really drown, because I swam. I swam hard to the surface. I grabbed the hands of the people who tried to save me. But sometimes, you don't want to be saved, and just wanna drown, so I let my hand slip from their grasp, and let the waves wash me away from the shore.

Still, I floated in the sea of sadness. I let the wind carry me. But it couldn't carry me, because I was too heavy. I was loaded with my pain and problems and all. I guess it was too much for the wind. Is this the end? Should I stop hoping? I did stop hoping. I raised my arms, closed my eyes, and let life beat me up. I was done.

But instead, I felt a pat on my back. I opened my eyes and saw Life hugging me, telling me it's sorry. It just wanted to see how much pain I could handle, and it saw that it crossed the line, that it inflicted too much pain, so it stopped. It started nurturing me with rhetorics, handed me gifts, made me remember who I was, and who I am now. It said that it really was sorry.

So I decided to give it another chance. I suffered martyrdom. Accepted everything and moved on. I went on my way and did everything to heal my wounds, mend the scars, fix everything that was bent.

But then Life got possessed by Evil. It decided to tear me to shreds again. It took an axe, and cut me apart, like lumber for the fireplace.

Still, I forgave it. It wasn't its fault. It was Evil's. So I just took glue and put myself together again and went on. I won't achieve anything if I just sulk in the corner. I haven't cried about it yet. I just... laughed. I don't even know why.

I opened the book of rhetorics Life gave me.

"Let us smile at our problems and forget that we have them in the first place."

I remember. I was the one who wrote this. And with that, everything was better.


Everything I have written so far is a metaphor. So what was I talking about? Well, I'm going to talk about it now.

The past two months have been long yet quick. I was happy to be back in school and to be continuing to work with my DMMAxim (student publication) family. It's sad that it won't be happening now, working with them, that is. I won't go into further details. I've tried explaining it to people again and again and it's tiring to be redundant. Also, I've moved on, so I don't have to go back in that mess again.

With unrequited love adding to the weight, it wasn't easy. But I've already moved on, too. I know it wasn't meant to be. It always has been platonic.

I've cut strings and burned bridges. There's no need to go back into that pit anymore. I drew and wrote things that would make me feel better. It did make me feel better. I guess I'm 89% done with my mourning period.

Let me conclude this with my favorite rhetoric I made:

"Let us smile at our problems and forget that we have them in the first place." 
                                                                                     — L. Slaybell, 06-07-16

Just Late Night Thoughts Note #2

What gives people the reason to live?

It’s 12 am, and I still have class tomorrow. We’re going to have a report tomorrow. I should make it ‘til tomorrow.

It’s 12 am. I have an exam tomorrow. I should pass that exam. I should make it ‘til tomorrow.

It’s 12 am. I have people who love me. They’re looking forward to see me tomorrow. I should meet them tomorrow. I should not make them worry. I should make it ‘til tomorrow.

It’s 3:49 am. Someone video called me a while ago. We talked for about 1 hr and 30 minutes. He cared. He was worried. I should make it ‘til tomorrow.

There are many reasons why people should live. We keep fighting the pain for those reasons. 

Sometimes the reasons are not enough for some people. Sometimes we have to be the reason for them. It’s up to them to keep those people or leave them.

Sometimes, when the pain’s too much, you just have to...

Saturday, July 02, 2016

Just Ep 6 of Charlie Comics


Thank heaven that our instructor tasked us to make a storyboard last Monday for our English class, so I was able to continue Charlie Comics.
Episode 6: Archie tells the news
Charlie: What's up, Archie? Why did you call me?
Archie: I called you to tell you that Lulu & I broke up. She's all yours, Charlie.
Charlie: WHAT?!
Charlie: I have to contact Lulu right away!