Sunday, August 21, 2016

Just slurring that isn't really slurring, because you know, I'm not talking

In this post, I will write in bullet-form my thoughts and experiences.

  • If I were to form a band, I will name it Playing with Scissors.
  • Ever since I've experienced being tipsy, which is last August 13, Saturday, I've been doing chores and good deeds like cooking, washing the plates, feeding our pets, folding our clothes, and answering assignments for my classmates. I did a lot of good things this week. I'm not really like this. I'm actually lazy. I hate doing anything. Maybe I need alcohol in my system. lol
  • I fixed my violin. I am so happy. Maybe this is my reward for being so good this week.
  • I have my own room now. I have been sleeping in it. It's not fully furnished, but hey, it's a room. Anything will do. Our house's renovation is almost finished.
  • I am watching Steven Universe and I really love this cartoon. I love Garnet because I can see myself in her. Like, when she was told she was mysterious, she just said "haha, mysterious." People call me mysterious too. And she is so funny. She real talks all the time. My officemate tried to insult me by comparing me to Amethyst which failed because I like Amethyst too because deep inside she's a little emo.
  • My page reached 100+ likes. If you're one of them, thank you :)
  • Another thing about experiencing being tipsy is that I can relate to books now where they talk about drinking.
  • Have I posted already that our dog gave birth to 5 puppies? They're all male. Their colors range from black, brown, and white. It's like their mother ran out of ink for her puppy printer. lol
  • I have controlled my psychosis now. I think I'm back to normal. Yeah, sometimes my friends get weirded out but I've been always weird. My bipolar is stable now. I don't think it'll shift any time soon. I  think it will now since My Chemical Romance is playing as I'm typing this. But nah, I'm too manic to feel depressed while listening to them.
  • Steven Universe made me cry. Most of the time I only get teary-eyed but in one episode my tears really fell down my face.
  • Today is Sunday. I liked the weather earlier. It was cold and cloudy. Now, the sun shone and it's a little warm. I'll take a shower later.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Just What I Say

Please let me express my thoughts regarding this post I saw on Facebook.


I don't really care about other people because I can't think about them after I'm dead. Not that I will attempt to kill myself any time soon. It's just that people kill themselves because they are not that strong. They can't endure pain like other people can. Suicide does end the pain for the suicidal. And the person who got passed that pain can end it for them.

Just My Essay Part 2

So my essay didn't make it through. Thank goodness. I really didn't try my best. I want this semester to be the chillest semester ever.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Just My Essay

I joined the screening for essay writing for our intramurals. The theme was "A convergence of talents in upholding excellence for a victorious DCSP". DCSP stands for DMMA College of Southern Philippines, the name of my school.

Here's my essay:

     If there is one thing needed to achieve victory, it is teamwork. People need to work to gether to achieve the goal that they are reaching for. Miscommunication, fights, and misunderstandings are some of the factors that can hinder us the sweet taste of victory.

     In order to fully grasp the championship title we must unite as one. We should use all the resources that we have. If one is good at math, but not so good in physical activities, we should help that person in need. We should complement each other and form a symbiotic relationship wherein both of the parties benefit from each other. Rather than try to drag each other down. why not lift each other up? That way, we both get to share our victory.

     Every person has a unique talent. Some have skills that the other person does not. If the goal needs more than a set of skills then people should work hand in hand to reach that goal. A gaer does not work by itself. It also needs the other gears to work for the machine to fully function. A single gear not working could cause the whole apparatus to fall apart. This could be the same with people. If a single person is not doing his or her task then an entire operation would be a fiasco.

     People always strive for excellence. What better way to achieve that than doing it together? If we could put our heads and our hearts together, then we could achieve even far greater than that. We could go to an institution with greater excellence if we learn to put our minds together,, if we help each other, and if we empathize with each other. DCSP is one of the top Maritime schools in the Philippines. We could go for a better title than that like "the top Maritime and General Education school of the Philippines". Isn't it a great victory if we get that? We should have the mindset that every course is great in their own ways.

     This incoming intramurals, walls are built again as students get assigned to their own respective teams. Let us not make this an opportunity to divide our institution, but to unify it upholding excellence in our way. Let s not think that we are losers when our own teams lose, but think that we are victorious, because our fellow DCSPians have great skills that students in other institutions do not have.

     We can not uphold excellence if we separate ourselves from each other We can uphold excellence if we learn to work together. We should let go of our own selfishness and realize that victory is better than ego.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Just Feelings

I have already lost a lot of feelings.
Certain things trigger them to come back;
Hearing a song might, talking to a friend might,
doing normal things may trigger them, overthinking may trigger them
almost anything will trigger to get my lost feelings back.

Nostalgia, grief, love;
There are some feelings that you want to be felt again, some you don't. Once you feel them again, you get in a certain state of mood. I can't be less vague when I'm writing.
It's a cliche when I say that I can't explain it, or when it's hard to explain it. But it is.

I want to write about my mood right now. But you can't just immediately get what is abstract.
I can't write easily about what I can't see or I can't hold.
It is difficult to write about what you are feeling. It is hard to find that certain word that exactly describes what I am feeling or am right now.
I need a wide vocabulary to perfectly have a description of what I am feeling.
And that sucks.

I am in a mood where I want to listen to old songs. I am in a mood where I want to listen to old songs that I have not heard before. I am in a mood where I just want to lie on the bed and...

that's it. This is where I'm lost for words that best describes my mood, that best describes what I want to do on bed.

I was about to add "I just want to lie on the bed and think about life."
but that's not it.
I don't want to overthink.

I just want to feel nostalgic.
Or no, not nostalgic.

I want to be in a mood like how it is in a book. Maybe like in The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
I want to be in a mood like how it is in a song. Maybe like in Lips of an Angel.
I want to be in a mood like how it is right now.

(I've got to admit, I don't really want to talk about this right now, because this post was supposed to be all about me, but I just thought of you, and every time I read your name in my timeline, my face tightens, not that I'm in love with you.)

It sucks when there is an infinite number of words, infinite number of languages and dialects,
but I still can't find the exact words that I want to say.

And it sucks that people will never get it.

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Just What If

I visited my friend, Shiloh last Saturday and we played a game called "What If". It's a game played better with more people, but we're the only ones who played it, us two. I still had fun playing it though.

To play, you write questions beginning with "What if" and you have to give it to the other person to answer. You also answer the questions of other people. The twist is, you answer the friend's question with his/her answer to your own question. For example, she asks "What if we are all white?". Then she answers with the answer to your question, "What if Obama said no?", which is "Then he said no." Then she answers your question "What if Obama said no?" with the answer of "What if we are all white?". I'm sorry if it's too complicated. I really don't like explaining things when it's not through a poem. Haha.

I only brought home the answers without the twist. Haha. Here they are.

Why do we have to shower?
Because if we don't the whole world would stink.
What if Obama was white?
Then he wouldn't be the first black president. Duh.
What if we walk while we sleep?
I know a friend who does that. She wakes up.
What if we shit through our nose?
Ew. Gross. Bruh.
What if we sing to talk?
Then it'll be osam. I've always wanted to try that after watching Frozen.
What if we barked instead of talking?
Iro nalang unta ta. (We should have been dogs instead.)
What if everything was not colored?
I'm gonna paint them.
What if we didn't live?
Then we're all dead.
What if there was another person like us?
Let's meet him ASAP.
What if our dog killed Duterte?
Then our dog is da real MVP.
What if there wasn't any war or evil?
Life would be worth living.