Sunday, September 25, 2016

Just a Letter to a Wallflower

Dear Charlie,

It's been a long time since you've written now. You may really be busy participating in life. I really want to know how you are now. I wasn't able to respond to any of the letters you sent me before because you didn't leave any return address. I have no idea who you are, but you told me your stories and it really means a lot that you chose me to be the one to tell your story to.

It's been three years since I read your letters. I wasn't even born yet when you wrote them. You were 16. You must be 41 years old now. I'm only 18 now. But in a fortnight I will be 19. I read your letters when I was 16. If I change the timeline a little bit then we'd still be the same age now.

I really want to meet. Maybe you are not the same person that you've described yourself in your letters anymore. But still, I want to know you more. I still don't know how to send this to you but I wish you could read it. Your last letter did end up being the last letter. And I do believe that things are good with you. I just want to know how you, Sam, Patrick, your sister, your brother, your mom, and your dad are. I want to know if you are still thinking about your Aunt Helen, or if you got back into the hospital again. How was your sophomore year? Did you finish high school already? Are you going to college? I just want to know.

Right now I'm writing to you. 2:50 in the morning— a Sunday morning. If you were born a bit later you would have listened to the same songs I listen now. Because I like the songs that you listen to. I like The Smiths too, although they are not my favorite band. You said you wanted to be an author. I would really want to read one of your books. The way you write in your letters really gets me hooked. You say a lot of meaningful words, words that make a lot of sense, words that I could really relate to. You say the words that I want to say but can't because I don't know how to stitch them all up together. You seem to do that easily without even trying.

I would really like to write more in this letter to you but you don't exist and that hurts. I wish you were real. But enough of that. I really love you Charlie. I hope you know that.

Love always,

Lana

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