Friday, September 23, 2016

Just Lying Awake

It's  raining outside. A lot of flashes of lightning. I've been trying to sleep for a couple of hours now but I couldn't. I've already yawned a lot and I have no idea what is happening to my body.

I just realized that a lot of people are really shitty. Attention-seekers use the stupidest tactics. One struck a nerve. It made me deactivate one of my social media. I can't stand looking at stoopid posts anymore. My eyes need some sterilizing.

With my earphones plugged in and the music not so loud so I could still the rain and thunder crashing down, I lie awake in bed. I am trying to sleep early now so I could wake up early and jog. I want to get rid of this fat in my thighs and hips. (Ugh...Vic  Fuentes' voice...)

Anyway, I really want to hear from my readers, if there are any. Everytime I look at my stats when I log in, I see a couple 1 or 3 viewing my blog. I wish you would comment. I  really want to talk to people I don't know. Not really face to face and speak, but you know, just write, because I have social anxiety. I don't really like talking.

1 comment:

  1. I'm not terribly social myself, but for whatever it's worth, hope you're feeling better, or at least channeling any discomfort/stress into creative fuel.

    I will say, your stuff has a tendency to make me feel small and tiny, but in a good way. The best I've heard this paradox articulated was by Jim Adkins of Jimmy Eat World, on a podcast whose name I unfortunately can't remember. To paraphrase, he was saying how he doesn't really understand the appeal of flatly "happy" music; music can't just be sunshine and rainbows because that's not realistic or "true"--it's elements of melancholy and so on that give music character and authenticity. I feel the same about all disciplines of art in general. The best stuff doesn't deny that there's more to happiness than being happy.

    A great in-art expression of this is in "Wait So Long" by Trampled by Turtles: "And your heart rolls on like a frozen freight train / You know that I help you if I can / But I'm just a raindrop in a river / Just a little, itty-bitty grain of sand." It's not as easy as just snapping your fingers and resolving things nicely and neatly, sometimes it's even just impossible despite one's best intentions. So that's sorta how I glean a certain kind of quiet optimism from your stuff, which I appreciate.

    A fan of rain and thunder as backdrops to music, even while desperately trying (often in vain) to fall asleep