Saturday, May 13, 2017

Just Had a Little Drink

When I look at my breasts, I am reminded of the medication I took for my condition. Before the meds, they weren't this big.

It was 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I never really heard them say those exact words, because I was lost in my own reality, in my world of delusions and fears and paranoia. I just figured by actually reading the descriptions from the medicine I was taking. I thought they were placebos ffs. I thought they were tablets that don't actually have effect, that I wasn't really sick, that the doctor was just experimenting on me if I could cure myself by willpower. I didn't tell anyone of this line of thinking. I would have told them, but it was hard to explain. I did not know that I was really crazy.

So yeah it was when I actually read the label that I realized that they were really real meds. I got fat. I think I remember that I took them by schedule. There was one drug that I have to take one in the morning and one in the evening and another drug to take during noon. Err my head hurts from thinking all of this. I'll pause typing all of this now because I don't want to accidentally have a relapse. I used to want a relapse, but now I don't think it's a great idea.

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