Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Just One of My Delusions

About three years ago, during the peak of my delusionary days, my messed up line of thinking made me believe that one's favorite band describes what they truly want or what they truly are. For example, my favorite band is My Chemical Romance. I believed that one day, I will find true love and it would be chemical. Like, you know, because love is just a chemical reaction in your brain. Something like that. Another example is my classmate with her favorite band was Incubus. At the time, really, I was at the peak of... Yeah. Let's not talk about that. Anyway, I thought being Incubus as her favorite band, I believed that she was being possessed by the devil. Not really possessed. Kind of like... Let me explain. The situation was like this, she wanted to go off on her own because she had family problems. She seemed always angry. She's not like that now, by the way. Or maybe it was just all in my head, like maybe my perception magnified things, like it looked bad, but maybe it really wasn't that bad. Err...
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Maybe a different example. My other classmate's favorite band was Imagine Dragons. I believed that he imagines his own world. Maybe he will do drugs so he could imagine the dragons. I believed he was hallucinatory. During our freshman years, he jokingly made an imaginary friend named Janus. All that was for laughs, of course. But three years later, our senior year (2014), my impaired mind overthought all of the things happening around me, even overthought the situations years back, which added fuel to the fire of a delusion which made my brain hurt a lot and made me cry a lot for no reason and burst out in front of a lot of people outside the shrink's office... But that's a different story. Lol

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